It is not uncommon for university students to feel like they don’t know who they are or what they want, which is not surprising. College is a confusing space with lots of unknowns and new experiences that are hard to process, let alone while you’re likely learning to live on your own for the first time.
This exercise should give you a framework to understand a little more about yourself and who you are, in other words, your identity.
Identities are changing things that are influenced by a number of factors, some in your control and others not so much. What you find here isn’t a binding description of you, but rather a window into who you are right now. You will grow and change over time and so will your identity, but for right now it’s good to have a sense of yourself.
When considering aspects of identity, features that often come up include gender, race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, culture, transformative life experiences, spirituality, body size/shape, ability/health/mobility, family structure, and interests/skills/values.
However you choose to define these aspects is up to you, this is after all, your identity. But be sure to have a sense of what each one means for you and perhaps a few examples or descriptions to help you understand it better. On a piece of paper or blank document, make a list of these aspects that you can add notes to.
Now that you have a list, read through the following statements. As you read them, write down the letter of the statement near the aspect or aspects you think the statements resonate with the most. You may find that some statements resonate with several aspects and others with none at all, which is completely fine. This process entails a great deal of reflection and introspection, so go through them slowly.
- These are the aspects I am most aware of at home.
- These are the aspects I am most aware of at school.
- These are the aspects I know the most about.
- These are the aspects I know the least about.
- These are the aspects I tend to keep hidden.
- These are the aspects I most like to share with others.
- These are the aspects I think about most often.
- These are the aspects I think about the least.
- When I think of my friends, these are the aspects that we have most in common.
- When I think of my friends, these are the aspects that we have least in common.
- When I think of my family, these are the aspects that we have most in common.
- When I think of my family, these are the aspects that we have least in common.
- These are the aspects I do not really know how to discuss.
- These are the aspects I think people use to judge me.
- These are the aspects I think bring me the most joy.
- These are the aspects I think bring me the most pain.
- These are the aspects I believe are the most important to me, right now.
Now that you have finished, take a breath, and give yourself a minute a reflect on this process. Read over your responses and take time to respond to the questions below.
- Where do I see consistency and inconsistency in my aspects?
- What aspects resonate more and less frequently than others, and why is that?
- What prompts surprised me?
- In responding to the prompts, were there times I felt conflicted?
- What tensions did I feel between my different identity aspects?
- How do my responses align or not align with my values?
Now that I have completed this, are there things about me that I wish others knew or didn’t know? Why or why not?
